So everything has been going good this week. Bill, this guy i have been talking to for like a year, asked me out to go see a movie. and i finally said yes to the guy. now its saturday ( day of the date) and i texted him asked him what the plan is and such. no response. I asked him whats going on? and still nothing. I have been stood up. WTF... i am over it. actually. no i am not. its a slap in the face. seriously. I have not had a relationship for like 3 or 4 years now. is the right guy just running away from me or something? Lately i have been wanting to move out to the east coast, and seriously right now I wish i could just buy a plane ticket and leave....yeah just pack up what all is important to me and leave the midwest. I am so sick of it here. It is like a black hole just sucking me in further and further it seems like. I have dreams i want to fullfill. I should just go do them.
Living in an area like that, would just be amazing. seriously.
I know i have come far from where i used to be. but there are just more problems that are coming. it sucks. when can life just be happy and carefree?? wait.... NEVER. blah. sucky.
I am going to go watch a movie do some hemp, maybe try to go out and smoke something. who knows. I am just pissy right now. fuck this. I just want a new life sometimes. and right now seems like a good opportunity. Ha i know how "emo" sad or whatnot i sound. but i am just upset in the moment. and need to let it out. time to listen to some music to help get me in a better mood. hopefully.
gahhhh.
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